When we first see Sandra Bullock in the opening scenes of Miss Congeniality, she is the epitome of the dowdy, dumpy gal. Matted hair, black glasses, clunky shoes. She's no beauty queen, but rather an FBI agent who is just one of the guys and damn proud of it. That is, until a new case forces the agents to find one of their own to go under cover at the Miss United States pageant. And so, dowdy Sandy gets to transform into hubba-hubba Sandy. But beyond Bullock's sexy slow-motion strut to display her new, modelesque form, there's not much else worth watching in this blatant vanity project.

It's hard to blame her though for choosing a project that puts her so front and center. Like Minnie Driver earlier this year, who put herself in the atrocious Beautiful, young female stars often can't resist producing and starring in movies that make them look lovely. That's just about all Miss Congeniality offers Bullock, whose comedic talents are really wasted here thanks to a slew of dumb jokes and stale beauty pageant gags.

As FBI agent Gracie Hart, Bullock throws herself into what becomes an infinitely predictable role as Gracie Lou Freebush, New Jersey's entry into the Miss United States pageant where the FBI expects a bomb threat. Gracie, who has recently ticked off her boss McDonald (Ernie Hudson) by not following orders on a stake out, is only at the pageant because none of the other female agents look decent in a swim suit. And because hunky agent in charge Eric Matthews (Benjamin Bratt) thinks she's a smart cookie. The humor here is supposed to stem from Gracie's obvious inability to be a girl, even after she "becomes" lovely contestant Gracie Lou. She walks like a gorilla, eats like a savage and snorts like a pig. But that behavior gets old fast, especially because there is no Pygmalion transformation or even an attempt at one.

The sequence (codenamed Operation Thong by the FBI) in which foppish beauty pageant consultant Vic Melling (Michael Caine) transforms Gracie, who he calls "Dirty Harriet", into a stunning pageant diva is only mildly entertaining. Doing her comedic best, Bullock stomps about in a variety of face masks and grimaces when forced to eat celery instead of her usual donuts. It's not her fault; it just isn't that funny. To her credit, Bullock does indeed steam up the screen after her make-over, looking like a sultry vixen ready for anything. Until she trips in her high heels. It's this sort of gag that fills up the rest of the film and Bullock's winning personality only carries the jokes so far.

Writer Marc Lawrence, who also penned the lackluster Bullock vehicle Forces of Nature, doesn't seem to understand that, even in a flimsy little comedy, the heroine needs to take some sort of a journey. As Gracie Hart and as Gracie Lou Freebush, Bullock certainly goes nowhere fast. She doesn't really learn to be a lady nor does she become a better FBI agent, despite the script's attempts to suggest it. Even her noble statement about how she now realizes that beauty queens are smart and decent feels like hollow sentiment. And, in the end, she gets the guy without much of a fight and without much preamble. It's almost as an afterthought: Oh, yeah, she's the star, she's gotta kiss someone.

Unfortunately, as a producer on the project, Bullock has to be held accountable for making such a poor choice. Or perhaps, she should simply try working with another writer. Try as she might in Miss Congeniality, Bullock's energy and quirkiness only go so far. In the world of beauty pageants, this film wouldn't even be the runner-up.