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| AMITYVILLE HORROR, THE (2005) - R
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ReviewScore: 34 out of 100
SBD Star Rating:
by Lew Irwin
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 New York Times critic Manohla Dargis begins her review of the remake of The Amityville Horror with a lesson in horror film economics. "In a world gone drearily mad with sequels and recycled television shows," she writes, "it is merely rhetorical to ask why anyone ... would revisit a stinker like the 1979 flick The Amityville Horror. The answer, of course, is that these days, even the dumbest horror movie scares up decent big-screen business before being shuttled off to DVD perpetuity. Just as crucial, horror is relatively cheap to churn out, especially when the supporting cast features interchangeable no-name guys and gals, and the real star of the show -- in this case, a spacious waterfront Long Island house -- doesn't require its own trailer, a piece of the gross or any of the usual perquisites." Lou Lumenick in the New York Post laments the fact that Horror is "the once mighty" MGM's final release before being absorbed by Sony. "Even by the low standards of contemporary horror movies, this remake of the old American International Pictures' biggest hit (grossing $86 million in 1979 dollars and spawning six sequels) is shoddily made, boring and, most shockingly, without a single decent scare," he writes. Other critics write in the same vein. Wesley Morris in the Boston Globe: "An incompetent retread of the equally inane 1979 hit." Sean Daly in the Washington Post: "A nasty exercise in gore, torture and strobe-like MTV-style cuts." Jack Mathews in the New York Daily News: "Why remake a horror film if you can't make it scarier?" Bob Longino in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution: "Amityville is noise followed by more noise." Claudio Puig in USA Today: "The performances are bad, the special effects ho-hum, and it's not even particularly scary." Leave it to reliably contrarian Kevin Thomas in the Los Angeles Times to find much to praise about the movie. The new film, he writes, "is decidedly superior to the original." He goes on to complement the filmmakers for their "visual panache and consistent dexterity." He's joined by Bruce Westbrook in the Houston Chronicle, who comments: "It's a gruesomely effective thriller ... Like good drive-in fare from the '70s, this is all about sensation." |
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